Manchester United dodgy rumours

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These rumours are really questionable but possibly funny and shown for entertainment purposes.



22 Nov 2013 13:04:57
I hear Valencia has been mentioned in a swap for a player from Galatasaray. Called Sschniedure, or something like that .
What would people here think? Where would he play as we already have Kagawa and Rooney unless he could play deeper? {Ed007's Note -





27 Oct 2013 09:30:32
I use to think that Gan/Ngiak was the only deluded one on this site but that GDS2 is really pushing him hard.





04 Oct 2013 04:31:53
Fergie for the Ireland gig according to Johnny Giles haha read it earlier got a good kick outta it.



29 Sep 2013 19:13:32
David moyes has said we need 6 world class players in our team. Can't wait for jan transfer window to open and bring in Gibson for 10 mil even though we sold him for less than 1mil. Howard in goal for 8 mil even though we got around 2 for him. Osman for. 12 mil jagielga at cb for 7 mil Baines for 25 mil. hibbard for 5 mil and maybe naysmith for 12 .
That should spend a big chunk of our 100 mil transfer budget



10 Sep 2013 12:47:36
Forgive this post Ed's

Daily M*rr** has a good piece today on Kagawa's plight and if anyone has a personter account great comedy value is @evilkagawa whoever that is is very clever



02 Sep 2013 23:52:37
Bruce Forsyth has just been on the phone to Woodward asking him would he like to be the 1st contestant on the new The price is right. You heard it here 1st



01 Sep 2013 19:04:45
Usain Bolt as chief scout?



31 Aug 2013 12:24:03
Don't worry folks 3 big signings by monday SCHOLES KEANE and CAPTAIN MARVEL to come out of retirement to help the cause!. on a more serious note if we don't sign anyone I hope the promising youngsters get a good chance. GGMU



30 Aug 2013 23:02:52
I heard today that Ed Woodward has had his business cards delivered at Carrington and they say

Edward Woodward
Director of Derisory Offers and Low-balling
President of Tyre Sponsorships and African Visa card Division
email :

Phone: 0844-1287-666

*calls to Ed are charged at £3.47per/min from landlines and more from mobiles.



27 Aug 2013 22:53:30
David moyes has offerd $60 million plus nani and a promising player from the development squad for garath bale.
From a great souce.



27 Aug 2013 15:49:58
Just sold my one bedroom house to an agent that says his player is from Madrid. Hoping it is Ronaldo



Ronaldo. Not even a seconds hesitation.
Bale is a damn good player but no where near the same league as Ronaldo.



25 Aug 2013 00:34:44
Apparently Woodward has put a £30m bid in for Will-I-AM.



24 Aug 2013 15:53:59
With Real Madrid considering Selling
Kaka (free), Modric (30M), Ozil (40M), Di Maria(25M), Khadira (15m), Contreao (15m).
Why can't we go in for these players. Any 3 of the above can make us world class.



23 Aug 2013 16:45:33
Guy in bookies next to me just asked for a price and put £500 on Bale signing for Utd in next 48 hours! Prob just a loaded nutter but heres hoping!



23 Aug 2013 09:10:04
I know on a very very very good source that Willian is extremely interested in a move to Manchester United.
He and Rene bonded in Russia and has been asking him to put in a good word but Apparently David Moyes has been unable to make his mind up on transfers.
This may not mean much BUT Willian is there for the taking for Manchester United but Moyes is the man holding transfers back because he can make his mind up.



22 Aug 2013 16:06:45
: all us utd fans have been waiting for we are set to sign nobody this window this comes from a very reliable source I hope he is wrong



21 Aug 2013 12:52:02
Heard this through a friend who works for a major UK newspaper. Cristiano Ronaldo has been seen at Banbury Fried Chicken asking for a Number 7.
A flat somewhere in Manchester has also been put up for sale with a confirmed source from the estate agent saying that there has been interest in the flat. The interested party could be Cristiano.



21 Aug 2013 11:49:31
So United have pinched a youngster from City. Gabriel Fernando is a highly regarded 16 year old CAM originally from Sporting Lisbon. Was offered scholarship from City, but has been training with us all week and snubbed them. Youngsters can clearly see that they are never going to get senior game time at City. That's why their highly rated Denis Suarez wants out too.

Buttner looks set to move to Besiktas. Not sure if it's a loan to buy or just a loan. Benfica were also interested.

Scott Wootton has joined Leeds which is a good move for him. Deal apparently worth £1m. Good luck to him.

Plenty of clubs trying to get Larnell Cole and Nick Powell on loan. Wigan would be a good move for Powell.

Adnan is about to sign a new five year deal according to the media. That is something I am desperate to see happen after missing out on Pogba.

Seems PSG are back in for Nani. Injured at the moment, but I am sure the club would consider a bid in the region of £12m-£15m. I think £8.5m is ridiculous and would rather let him leave for free next summer.




19 Aug 2013 22:28:25
Ronaldo is in RED HOT BUFFET on deansgate
with Ed woodward and Mendez .There goes
that deal aswell.




19 Aug 2013 00:56:13
Cr7 will be a united player once again before the window shuts!!Excited much!




18 Aug 2013 14:34:02
My mate works at manchester airport and says that a private flight is due to land tomorrow at ten am. Its flight plan says its coming from Amsterdam but originally from Turkey via Holland. Who could it be?



18 Aug 2013 13:50:50
Everyone knows that bonds first name is Alan, his second name is also a south american country;-) lol. {Ed007's Note - Aye that will be right!!}



18 Aug 2013 12:49:51
Yesterday I was in the Bakery getting myself a corned beef pasty when I overheard two of the bakers talking about how Ronaldo used to always be in there buying a custard tart. Well as you can imagine, I eaves dropped a little and they mentioned how they were contacted the other day from a United Exec, advising them to increase their production of Custard Tarts. Not getting my hopes up, but its looking good for a Ronaldo return.



18 Aug 2013 12:28:35
Guy at work has a nephew who works in the superstore. A month ago, staff were ordered not to print any more Rooney shirts. Then, last week, they were told they can start printing them off again. Also, staff this week warned to work 12 hour shifts. Big signing is expect and staff are anticipating lots of customers. Just saying.



16 Aug 2013 22:13:45
Is there any truth that bale bought cr7s house in spain back in june. Got this off a yahoo blog. So hope he comes home. We would win everthing. whoeelse would we need if we had cr. Rvp and Rooney.?



16 Aug 2013 17:35:06
First time poster, great site by the way :)
Couple of ex work colleagues that work at carrington, one being a security guard and one being a physio therapist were talking as mr moyes and Phil Neville were walking towards The training pitch chatting and, moyes said to Neville, how did ronaldo perform? Maybe just a bit of chatting but more fuel to the ever burning fire as is ronaldo return to OT



16 Aug 2013 15:59:59
We may be very close to signing Mesut Ozil if only we pay Real Madrid's asking price of £40m as the player himself is willing to join us



13 Aug 2013 20:31:34
Been given reports that we've agreed a £50 mill deal with Liverpool for Suarez. Quality player, reckon he'll fit in well with the club. As for Ronaldo in maccies, we all know he prefers burger king so that was a lie!




12 Aug 2013 16:21:10
My sources seem to think that a signing will be made by Friday and that Fellaini is the most likely to join as personal terms may have already been agreed recently and the fee is the only part remaining. United may consider including Baines in the deal but the club knows it is unlikely they will both join.



Ive supported united since 1965 and told you before I don't like what i'm seeing at united and you should take your united goggles off and relise what is going on



10 aug 2013 14:42:41
heard last night that rooneys agents got to know that
tevez was on his way out at citeh so that's why
all this transfer rubbish has happened he has no interest
in moving to london but when citeh bought negrado and
joivic he was left in limbo. i expect him to make an
apperance on mutv again shortly grovelling and
saying saf couldn't understand his scouse accent
therefore his request was lost in translation.
sort it out. give him what he wants
it will cost us 70m to replace him




08 Aug 2013 17:59:23
Despair not my fellow reds.
Ronaldo is coming just as soon as the greedy Spurs Chairman has rinsed every penny out of Madrid for Bale.
Ronnie is a done deal but United have agreed not to announce anything until Madrid have secured his replacement.
Perhaps a certain Mr Levy knows just how strong his hand is and that is why the ludicrous amounts being demanded for Bale are not being met with a "get stuffed"
Madrid HAS to replace Ronaldo and that is why they are in the invidious position they find themselves today.

Ronaldo will be back soon just be patient. {Ed029's Note - There is no "done deal" for Ronaldo.}



04 Aug 2013 14:00:21
just had family member tell me rooney is off to madrid today for talks. de silva advisors also. dela agreed between clubs rooney & twins + £40m for ronaldo who will sign on pitch on rio's night. Bains & felani will come in in a straight swap deal for cleverly young and smalling. Fabregas will sign next on pitch on rio's night too he has confirmed to Barca that he wants to join Moyes revelution at OT



01 Aug 2013 16:51:19
There will be big surprise on Aug 8 during Rio's testimonial match. A player will be signed for United.

I don't know who is the player. Personally I think it will be CR. :)



01 Aug 2013 14:07:46
There will be big surprise on Aug 8 during Rio's testimonial match. A player will be signed for United.

I don't know who is the player. Personally I think it will be CR. :)



Well that was all it was a rumour we was never interested or put a bid in.



31 Jul 2013 18:16:07
When can I un-cross syd ;-)



27 Jul 2013 13:49:23
Man United Ready to Meet £80m Asking Price as Move to Re-Sign Cristiano Ronaldo Is Back On

Found this a second ago if we did go all out for the boy to bring him back It would lure and attract big names for the midfield maby that's the plot. Though 80m is a lot flog Rooney for 30ish then it would b 50m and as far as I know united would pay 60m for ronaldo anyway.

Go on the boy. !!



Just a slightly more defensive but all round less gifted version of Paul Pogba : (




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